The Green Mile or Bust!


Herbal Alternatives
New Broadsterdam

2568 South Broadway
Denver, CO 80210

Orange Diesel


There are some famous stretches of Capitalistic overindulgence scattered across these United States. Las Vegas has the Strip, Los Angeles has Hollywood Blvd, NYC has Times Square, Chicago has the Magnificent Mile, and now Denver can add South Broadway to the list of streets with great nicknames. So many cannabis shops have popped up on this stretch of road in the last year that it is now dubbed “Broadsterdam” a.k.a. “the Green Mile”.

There are around 14 ganja shops on this part of Broadway alone. There are also some spots on some of the side streets, too. South Broadway is packed with antique furniture stores, coffee shops, a couple of dive bars (if you are into that sort of thing), a dinner theater, and many other things to do. You can even find overpriced Empanadas on this block if you get a hankering. It is a good place to spend a day. It is also up the street from me, and it took a lot for me to change out of my slippers for this trip.

The Herbal Alternatives is in the southern part of the main stretch in a nice, big, two-story building. The staff is quite friendly and accommodating.

The lobby is warm and spacious inside. It felt comfortable. There was adequate seating, with a few antique looking couches and tables arranged throughout. It looks like a great place to just hang out. Even the police chopper sits like a guard dog comfortably resting by the fire.

I chose the Orange Diesel because it attacked my senses with a strong citrusy flavor. The aroma is sweet as well. The buds are nice, tight, and meaty. They have a good density to them, and the trim is nice and close.

It is a nice, smooth hit; easy on the throat. It is, however, missing that citrus taste that I would like to accompany that scent. It is like biting into a plum that tastes like an apricot. It is still good, just not what I expected.

It has a nice, mellow high that sticks around.




Walking Raven

2001 S Broadway St
Denver, Co 80210

Sweet Haze


When I only get ½ an 1/8, it is because I want to try it and not walk out. After enough places, I learned to just walk out. At any rate, I gave it a go. In fact, I was excited to check The Walking Raven out. The location, small size of the building, and unique names all attracted me to the place. It is small. Really small. Like a backyard shed small. It was illuminating to see exactly how little room you really need to sell weed. There was basically enough room for a counter in the middle separating the budtender from the customer. That’s it.


I was let down when I got inside, though. If the buds weren’t popcorns, then they were complete shake. Yet, amidst the fodder, I did discover a patch of nice, solid flower called Colorado Sweet Haze (?). I was attracted to the orange hairs that contrasted with the light green.


The aroma was almost completely gone from the flowers. There was still a whiff to be had though, and it was a nice, dank aroma. It is just too bad that I have to really concentrate to find it. Yet, the faint aroma was an indicator that this was a fine herb. The high really stuck around, and it was one of those that makes the eyes tingle.

The Day Google Maps had the Goods.


Green Man

1355 Santa Fe Drive
Denver, CO, 80204

Death Star

I was on my way to a favorite spot of mine, but the snow altered my course again (the blowing breeze has a strong affect on this guy)! Fortunately, this is a time when a quick phone consult with Google will provide a list of the closest pot shops. It is amazing how quickly things become normal in a day.

There was once a time when a whole city could go dry while waiting for the buds to cure. Now, a quick consult with Google floods the Denver map with locations to shop. It is just another chore on the list. Sometimes, the shops are even in the same plaza as the bank and supermarket, so you can get your groceries, make a deposit, and pick up some nice buds in the same trip.


This trip was specifically for pot though, so it was dealer’s choice, so to speak. This Green Man location was the closest to me, but was crazy difficult to navigate to if you aren’t familiar with downtown. It is a store in a mini-mall that is stashed between two major streets and the back of a grocery store. I had to navigate through snowy, blustery, downtown traffic. I took a surprise left around a tree and then a hard right into the lot. It really is an adventure to get here.

Then I found out it was brand new, and they just got their rec. license. So they did not yet have any homegrown flower. The flowers they were currently selling came from a distributor. (At the behest of one of my coworkers, I did return at a later date to try their flowers.)

The Deathstar has an incredibly pungent aroma, which makes a lot of sense when you know that one of its mothers is a Sour Diesel. It smells like a dank, basement.

The buds of this plant are darker green and a bit skimpy. They are brittle and tend to turn to dust in my fingers. This is the same problem that I had at the other shop that sold prepackaged ganja. I’m sure it is old. These buds should be a lot meatier, but they have lost all of their moisture. To me, this is like seeing those game animals on the African savannah at the peak of dry season. They are starving and bone-thin and just waiting for a lion or hyena to come by and put them out of their misery.

The smoke was surprisingly light. Of course, it has a touch of harshness, but that is to be expected of some distributor crap. It was also able to keep a bit of flavor in it in the end. The aftertaste hinted at the stoniness of the herb, and the tingle in the eyes verified that this herb could have been dank. It comes on strong, but then it peters off quickly. Which leaves me wanting more.

The budtenders did not have any information about the distributor. It wasn’t Kindman, which is good. I can see what Green Man saw in the buds they bought, and it was good for a shelf-elf. But I like the fresh stuff, and look forward to trying their goods when they come online.

Boulder’s Phinest Reprazent


Boulder Botanics

1730 30thST #7
Boulder, CO 80301

303 Kush


A grower from Danktown recently moved to Colorado. Last week, we went on a mini collective tour. The goal was to get all the way to Nederland, but the Rocky Mountain white-out made us turn around. So we made Boulder our new destination (a good choice in itself). I wanted to check out Boulder buds for a good long time, and Boulder Botanics looked like just the place to go! Well, more like our second or third place to go. My buddy didn’t have his doctor’s note yet, and our first a couple of stops were at medical-only places first.

I knew I was out of my element when I walked in and looked at the menu. It was a concentrate spot. There were four times as many concentrates as flowers on the menu. Shatter galore.

I am not a shatter kind of guy. I never really liked hash, and never bought it. I was lucky to grow up in the Kind Bud era, and hash was just not what I wanted. Ever. When someone did give me hash, I would just give it away. I think concentrates are bad for two reasons.

First, they allow the growers to grow sub-standard pot because they can get a lot more money for a gram of blasted poor-quality herb (up to $50 med or rec) than a gram of healthy top-shelf dank ($20 + tax rec). The market always calls the shots, and as long as the market determines shatter to be more popular than flower, the standard is lowered to concentrate-quality rather than flower-quality.

Second, this is how the big companies are going to succeed in making cannabis deadly. When I was young and fighting for legalization, there were many within the community who wanted to keep it illegal. They wanted this because they didn’t want to A) compete with a big company with big bucks and B) let Monsanto make Genetically Modified pot.

It is either quality over quantity or the other way around; it can’t be both. Philip Morris is going to go for quantity. They would also love to cross promote their product with another much more deadly product they market, tobacco. Once cannabis is rescheduled, those big companies are going to sweep in and buy the biggest, most corporate grows they can find and take over. It is just a matter of time before Philip Morris et. al. cater to the European and Middle Eastern tourists and residents and realize that they can cross-promote two of their products here.

Of course, Americans are going to want to get onto that bandwagon too. Americans love to get fucked up, and they will be there with their parents’ allowance to buy it all. It was just hash before Americans got into the game. Now it is live resin. I am not excited to see how far the fucked-up train can go.

So I stay away from the concentrates. I am going to ride that small-market high quality flower into the sunset. To be fair, I have heard about some growers who make amazing flower and turn it into high-quality shatter. I even know a guy who only smokes the live resin that he grows. He absolutely smokes the cleanest stuff in town. He does not smoke cigarettes either, so the cat is still in the bag.


The small flower selection at Boulder Botanics showed me that the growers really knew what they were doing. But they only had indica. Their selection consisted of 6 varieties of Kush. Geez. No sativa, no hybrids, and almost no flower. Strike and strike and steeeeeeeerike. I never got on the Kush bandwagon, but I have met many Kush loyalists. Some people just really love their Kush, and who am I to tell them what is good. In fact, this focus on one strain probably means they know what they are doing with it. So I got the 303 Kush.

This bud is some serious couch-lock stuff. Normally, I am a night owl. I dunno why, but I get a second wind after the sun goes down. But this stuff was not messing around. It put my ass down by 10 PM.

The aromas for this bud are complex and strong. Stincky, incky, incky.

They were nice sized buds- thick, meaty, and dense. It has a nice, close trim job that didn’t destroy the buds. The crystals looked fresh and sappy.

The growers did a great job on the flush. It is an amazingly clean smoke. It is not nearly as harsh as many of the buds that I have smoked out here. It is incredibly smooth.

Mom’s Apple Pie is-and always will be- TH.UG.

TH.UG. The Underground

damnit feels good to be a knitter


Afghan Kush

Growers have always been the most important part of this business. The underground cannabis community has survived and thrived for generations. These men and women are so dedicated to their trade that vacations are non-existent. Many of the best, and indeed most of the better growers are still underground. They are underground for a ton of reasons. Just to name a few:


The recent laws here in Colorado have opened up the market so much that the experts are no longer in charge. But it is more than that. The great growers will never put their stuff on the market because it is not for us. They do it because they love themselves. Philip Morris and Monsanto are the new experts. Market trends, administrative offices, oversight, and supply-chains are now much more important than the quality. For now.

Personally, I have had a long history of successfully identifying growers in a prohibitory world. I have seen the gamut of herbs too. I even got a bag once that was rolled in spice. Fucking spice! Shithead. I still have the full bottle to remind me that some growers want to slang shit.

Fortunately, the guy who let me sample his Afghan Kush is one of the kindergrowers- growers who really know what they are doing. (On a side note, I tried talking him into getting some goats, just so I could kick it with a goat. He said they raise his anxiety because they sound like babies crying.) It was apparent in the Afghan Kush buds he gave me. These Afghan Kush buds are nice, healthy, and meaty buds.

This Afghan Kush is also light green and absolutely coated with crystals. It smells like a dank basement. But it is subtle and not too overpowering.

The smoke is nice and light and smooth, just like the high. I only needed a little bit to get good.

Saddle Up to La Conte’s Clone Bar and Dispensary

La Conte

5194 Washington St, 80216

Mango Stomper.



So I went to this place close to my house that has caught my eye for a while now. Oddly enough, this was the first place where I heard the Grateful Dead since I have been here. La Conte is marketed as a “Clone Bar”. This is my kind of bar! They have a wall of clone varieties available for sale for the more “hands-on” stoner.

The prices were good. They had a nice selection that did not break the bank. They were straight up cheap. Not as cheap as Generation Health, but a higher quality of cheap.

I was attracted to the Mango Stomper because of the smell. It is incredibly sweet smelling. I picked up pineapple for some reason. Maybe my tropical fruit radar is off.

The Mango Stomper buds were nice sized and thick. The hairs clinged to the buds and the crystals were caked on. It tasted like pineapple, and the high was mild.