Beware the Big Brand Buds

Posted on by danielk1

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Generation Health

4495 Washington St
Denver, CO 80216

Banana Kush

10/14/14

When I first moved to Denver, I lived by this place called “Earth Group”. The building looked well maintained, yet it was always closed. Recently, the sign changed to “Generation Health”. I was excited to go because it was so close and the name appealed to me.

They had the room set up in a unique way; there were three booths, each labeled respectively, “beginner”, “intermediate”, and “connoisseur”.

Wherever I went, however, the selection was crap. First off, everything was already pre-packaged. I hate pre-packaged. It takes all of the personality out of the transaction. If you are going to pre-package your herbs, then you should save yourself a ton of money and set up a vending machine.

So now that my human robot has taken the container from point “a” to point “b”, I can now surmise the product. The buds were small and lacked aroma, probably because they have been rolling around in that confined space for so long. This presented me with trying a new thing: a brand of pot.

The name of the Brand is Kindman, and their bottles are shaped like aspirin bottles. So now we have a company that is using the word “health” to slang a retail product. Their product is a pre-bottled brand that bottles their product in knock-off aspirin bottles. They are also losing on all levels now.

The package was also a horrible idea because the bottle is not conducive to accessing flowers. There is a bottleneck at the mouthpiece that prohibits access to the flower at the bottom of the container unless you have long-skinny fingers. The bottles also carried a charge.

The shake had its own problems in these bottles. Shake will stop at the bottleneck when it is poured out. The static electricity kept little flakes stuck to the walls all over the bottle.

Banana Kush has a wonderfully pungent aroma. It is sweet like cotton candy in the air. The buds are nice, bright green color that is obscured by the fuzz of crystals that blanket the buds.

The high is cerebral; it really slows things down. I don’t feel stoned, but I am. This is a good bud for being active.

It is also dry and brittle. It just crushes in my hands. The only date on the bottle was the sell date, so it could have sat in a back room for months. The next time I see Kindman on a shelf, I am going to walk out of the store before anyone can even say “hi”.

Posted on by danielk1

Caregivers for Life

310 St. Paul St.
Denver, CO 80206

White Urkel

10/7/14

This bud came recommended. I am not a fan of anything “purple”, so purple urkel is near the bottom of my list for ganja selections. I have been seeing a lot of this White Urkel around town, so I went for that.

The bag had some nice, big buds in it. The aroma is a run of the mill ganja smell. The White Urkel did live up to its name, however. The buds were coated in crystals.

It is a creeper, to be sure. It is subtle and calm. The more impatient stoner would pack two or three bowls out of uncertainty. But its lingering effects show up if you were patient enough to wait.

DTP Notes

I tried this place long before I worked for them. I am thrilled to know that I was able to try it before I knew the grower. Caregivers for Life is now called the Pagan Whistle. Great name! Although it is the same herb as what I reviewed, it deserves a revisit just for the (fingers-crossed) sticker.

Dank is the name and ganja is the game

Posted on by danielk1

certified-26013016Dank

3835 Elm St
Denver, CO 80207

9/9/14

 

White Widow

I found my favorite spot last week, just because of the name. It is almost Danktown, but not quite. Four letters short, to be precise. It may be superficial, sure, but the marketing worked on me. There is a lot in a name. There are those nice, bland corporate names like LivWell and The Green Solution. Then there are the many, many plays on THC like The Herbal Cure and The Health Center. And, of course, there are those medical places that have no post-grad medical professionals on staff. They use names with caregivers, “Herbal Health Alternatives”, “Meds”, or “Patient’s”  in the title to set themselves apart.

With a name like Dank, though, there is a certain level of stoniness that the purveyor must uphold. They aren’t in it for the health benefits, and they (hopefully) are not in it for a nice, commercial IPO skyrocket someday. They are in it for the herbs and the qualities a good herb grower can bring out of these herbs, much like a vinter wants to bring out all the characteristics of his/her grapes in a good glass of wine as opposed to Two Buck Chuck.

From first glance, the White Widow looks and smells good. The aroma is earthy and sweet. The buds are light green and they have pistils and crystals galore. It is a nice, light and smooth smoke, with an aftertaste that reminds me of a green smoothie.

This one messes with me; while the eyes have the tingling, and my body feels good, there is no overt stoney feel. Rather, it brings back memories of walking around a sea of sweaty munchkins at a Phish concert. In fact, this is the perfect herb for you want to hop onto the festival express.

 

Space Queen

Grade: A+++++

Walking into Dank is kind of a surreal experience for me. The building reminds me of an elementary school or a Boys Club on the inside. Its long, broad, and brightly lit hallway looks like it could hold lockers and trophies as easily as it holds up the bland prints that line their walls. The gym is not at the back of this building, though. That is where Dank is.

There is always a pretty young lady behind the bar (much better than the middle-aged, overweight man with a whistle, if you ask me,) who is ready and eager to take my money. Dank made her job even easier, though, when they put Space Queen on the shelf. It could have just as easily been a vacuum behind the counter to suck all of my money out of my pocket. Bluntly put, Space Queen was a sexy bitch from my past, and she was top class!

She is a glow-in-the-dark kind of green. Her buds are nice and hefty. They are a bit hard to pinch, and the aroma that comes out is peppery and woody. The pistils stick out like they are errant hairs on a freshly cut head of hair.

Just like the ganja I remembered, this Space Queen is fantastic. It doesn’t take much to go a long way, and this sativa just made me hungry.

 

 

Getting Higher on the High Plains

Posted on by danielk1

Sedgwick Alternative Relief

107 Main Ave
Sedgwick, CO 80749

8/14/14

pawnee Sunrise

 Durban Poison

Grade: A++++

I have long been a fan of Durban Poison. It is one of the reasons that Omaha got the nickname Danktown. There was a flavor called squeeze, and you could only get it from one person. It was part Durban, part something else, and all good. But really expensive!

I offered him every strain and flavor I could find (which was vastly abundant in the 90’s), but he would never trade me straight up. He always wanted cash too. I eventually broke down and bought a bag. It was worth it.

The Durban Poison I bought in Sedgewick was also over priced and totally worth it. Boy, did it smell good! The incredibly sweet aroma attacks me when I open the container. The buds are meaty balls of pistils and bud. The entire package is a veritable cannabinoid bomb.

The smoke is smooth. It is a bit heavy, but not as harsh as some smoke can be. The high is fantastic. It is “put your pipe down” pot; you will be forced to put down the pipe at some point, even if it is still full. A little bit goes a long way.

A Good Choice at the Fort.

Posted on by danielk1

Choice Organics

813 Smithfield Drive
Fort Collins, CO 80524

8/8/14

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Death Star

Gtrade: A++++

I got my herb on the road today. I was miles from home and ran out. It has been a good decade since I roamed these parts last; things were kind of different out here in the 90’s. Sure, there were plenty of people who smoked herbs all over these mountains, but there was a skill in finding a stranger to sell you some herb in the time of prohibition. You could also kick it with the vagabond kids who always seemed to have drugs, but nowhere to do them. I don’t recommend the second choice at all, though. This does not mean that I could not find weed in Colorado in the ‘90’s. I had pockets of friends who I could count on. My access was limited.

Not this time, however. All I had to do was open Google maps, look up “marijuana”, and I was off! There were only two places in Fort Collins, so I went to both. I did not get anything at the first place. Well kind of- they special ordered the new SBTRKT album for me. That is because this place is a record store that expanded and added a dispensary in Colorado. (All she needed was a café, and she would have succeeded in bringing all of my dreams and passions under one roof together.) I will have to go back when I either have the money to buy both records and herbs or the backbone to walk through a record store without “looking”.

So, with my $40 non-cannabis purchase in the mail, I continued on to the other Fort Collins pot shop, Choice Organics. By this time it was full-on into Friday evening, and the place was packed! It is only 20 minutes from Cheyenne, so…

After some deliberation, I was thrilled to find a kind that reminded me of my younger days. There is a zen belief that all plants and animals have a perfect image of themselves out there in the Universe that all plants and animals strive to be. “A cucumber unquestionably cucumbering”, they would say. For me, the perfect pot plant is grown in Omaha. Every bag I look at, every satchel I sniff, and every bud I burn is measured against the ganja I smoked from 1995-2003 in Omaha. It’s common name is Willies One-Hit Wonder Buds.

There were some varieties in San Diego that were at the Willies level- P91 and J1 are among them. This Fort Collins Death Star is also in that category. It has a spicy, wet shoebox sort of smell. Very stinky.

The buds are dark green and substantial. They are nicely frosted, their soft calyxes look pregnant, and they have a healthy spattering of pistils. The thing to watch out for in larger calyxes is that they could indeed be pregnant with seeds instead of damn good herb. This is where a squeeze might come in handy. The seeds will be hard, while the calyxes will be soft.

The Death Star smokes nice and smooth too. Like a cool breeze on a spring day, the smoke fills my lungs in a pleasant way. And it hit my eyes almost immediately too. In the end, this herb just made me feel good all over. I could focus on tasks, and it lasts too! In fact, it is the longest lasting herb that I have smoked in a while.

Trenchtown’s Pot

Posted on by danielk1

Trenchtown

734 Sheridan Blvd
Denver CO, 80214

7/4/14

trenchtown.mmj

NYC Diesel

Grade: A+++++

You know Diesel when you smell it. NYC Diesel is like Diesels’ big, butch sister. Not only is this particular NYC Diesel a thoroughbred, it is a champion; it won the Cannabis Cup in the early part of the millennium. All of the buds were nice, healthy sized, and the red pistils dispersed nicely throughout the flowers. These buds were darker green on the outside and light green on the inside.

The smoke was a bit strong on the back of the throat (This could be because I had been smoking something a lot smoother before, or it could be real dry). The aftertaste, however, came back nice and strong.

I could feel this smoke numb the body a bit. More importantly, I could feel it in my eyes. Although it has those couch-locking effects of heavy indicas, it is no trouble to stay active and alert. This herb can keep you cool while you are busy, and the effects stick around so you aren’t left wanting. NYC Diesel did it again!

 

 

 

 

 

 

8/8/14

Hawaiian

Grade: A+++++

Ah Hawaii. Huh-Vah-eeee. It just feels good to say. It brings back memories of a barefoot youth, poi, lychee, and a messy mouthful of mangoes. But that was a long time ago. The many, many Midwestern Winters eroded away any impression of my first language and replaced it with the crisp, clean weatherman accent spoken here.

Similarly, the recent legalization took plant genetics into turbo speed here in Colorado. The isolated land-race plants of foreign lands have no place here, where all strains have to be locally sourced and from Colorado. No Thai Sticks, no Panama Red, and my Santa Cruz mold-resistant Alien O.G. seeds are useless here.

Yet, somehow, Trenchtown managed to get their hands on some locally-sourced Hawaiian. Naturally, that is what I got; I am a landrace junkie. This bag – nay- bottle did not disappoint. It smelled peppery, sweet, and dank. These light-green buds were covered in pistils. The buds were less meaty than what I like to see, but that is how some sativas go sometimes.

But then again, could it be the growing? Because Colorado is the furthest state east to really produce marijuana, I feel like there are more people coming here than anywhere else to get their herbs. The result is that supply and demand are way out of whack. The owners can’t keep the herbs on the shelf.

This means that they have to worry less about quality and more about quantity. So now the hunger of the Central and Eastern time zones created a much more pressing need to keep product on the shelves. So production is ramped up, and harvests happen as often as possible. This is bad for sativas in particular. They like to grow tall and lean. Their buds grow long and lean and flavorful.

Yet here we have a sativa that, according to seedfinder.eu, has a flower cycle of around “77 days”. This is drastically different and much costlier than growing something like an Afgan Kush, which can be harvested 55 days after flowering. Clearly Trenchtown chose quality over quantity here.

The smoke was really light to inhale. This is definitely what Bill Clinton would (does?) smoke because I could hardly tell I inhaled. The aftertaste is a bit nutty, so enjoy this on your day off with a cup of coffee if you can.

This bud to me is like a day off at the beach. The warm sun beats down on the earth and the blue ocean disappears off into forever. Just like a breeze brings that ocean moisture, this herb moisturized my eyes but did not redden them. Sometimes it is good to relax and reflect; read a book and let the wind rock your hammock. It is always better with a bit o bud, and a little bit of this bud will go a long way.

Some Sours are Better than Others

Posted on by danielk1

 

6/25/14

Unknown

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Sour Diesel

$25/G

Unfortunately I did not record the name of this place because it is definitely a place to stay away from. I only got a gram, which means that I was throwing a dog a bone.

In the old days, people would give me a gram if they really wanted me as a customer. This doesn’t happen so much anymore, unless you know the growers or the budtenders personally. I have walked out of many places since then: some of them were because the prices were ridiculous and others because the herb was crap. The small quantity that I bought is evidence that I was overall uncertain about the quality of this place that shall forever remain nameless.

The crisp chemical smell of Sour Diesel reminds me of a cup of coffee on a sunny day. It’s distinct aroma snaps my mind awake and my eyes grow big. The crystals powder this bright green bud well. Yet the red hairs are sparse. It is like the blanket of crystals replaced the hairs. Overall, the buds were big and meaty.

It had pretty mild flavor; the aftertaste tasted a bit burned. The high was mild in both the body and the head. It was so mild that I hardly noticed. I know Sour D can be much better than this… I may have to go out and find some that is actually decent to get rid of the memory.

 

 

 

 

6/28/14

The Walking Raven

2001 South Broadway
Denver, CO 80210

Sour Diesel

Completely let down by what I bought last week, I went out in search of some Sour Diesel that was better, exponentially better. Fortunately for me, I had a roommate who loved this place and got me a satchel when she went. She was a budtender, so she was already skilled at identifying quality cannabis.

From the first smell, I knew that I could count on Maggie, my roommate. It smelled absolutely stunning. The tart, pungent aroma once again snapped my attention, as if the aroma were a drill sergeant had just walked into the barracks and every cell in my body was the platoon.

I am sure, however, that this Sour Diesel does not- I repeat does not smell like a barracks. Instead, it smells like a mountain lake in the summer. I lay on its shores and fill my lungs with whiffs of a pine forest and I feel the warmth of a sun-baked sky as I watch the clouds go by. The only sound is the waves as they gently lap against the shore. Seriously, I could smell this stuff all day!

For all of its aromatherapeutic benefits, it did lack in the size department. Just like what they say about those poor, less endowed guys out there, “it ain’t the size of the satchel, but the strength of its smell”. Or something like that. Another way to say it is that I got a bag o dingleberries. Little light- and dark- green crystal-enveloped dingleberries.

While the smoke was a bit harsh and not very tasty, the high was nice. It was like the faint sound wafting down the hallway of someone playing a violin. It is easy to focus on a task-at-hand while enjoying a ride on a Super Mario Bros. style cloud.

As for the redeye, there was none for me, and I could clearly see the whites in my eyes. This Sour Diesel is perfect to enjoy some Saudade on a warm summer day. It is indeed not always the size of the satchel. I get it now.

A Trip to THC for the O.G.

Posted on by danielk1

6/6/14

The Health Center

2777 S. Colorado Blvd
Denver, CO 80222

 

Tahoe O.G.

I went for an “Ocean Grown” day when I went to The Health Center. Maybe I was missing San Diego. I definitely know that the Tahoe O.G. was a perennial favorite of mine when I lived there. I was eager to see how things grew out here.

For starters, the Tahoe O.G. had a strong, earthy bouquet that was a little bit sweet and a lotta bit earthy. These buds were not the pinecones that I was used to seeing, but they were decent size. My 1/8 consisted of 5 buds, averaging 7/10 of a gram per bud.

The crystals were like glass; they shimmered in the light. The Tahoe O.G. buds were covered in red hairs and solid as a rock (that’s my kind of Tahoe O.G.!). It was a bit too dry for my liking, and I thought it would crumble when I broke into it.

This Tahoe O.G. is a warrior, though. It knew I was skeptical, and wanted to remind me that this was indeed Tahoe O.G. It refused to succumb to my grip and did not crumble and turn into to powder. Instead it showed me that this bud was worthy of the term “sticky-icky”. It is a really hearty bud!

The smoke is even heartier. Yet it is wonderfully clean and smooth. I can feel it in my eyes immediately, and after 10 minutes or so that dank citrus aftertaste that I gotta have returns to my taste buds.

This is a good active herb, despite the redness it does to the eyes. But then again, I couldn’t stop smoking it, which could have also led to the red eyes. I do believe in moderation, but there are just some things that are so good that you want one more. This cookie jar was emptied fast.

 

Alien O.G.

I went to The Health Center following a lead for a job. My cousins’ friend works here. I did get hired, but I did not yet have my badge. When I got my badge, the job was no longer available. I did get a sample of buds, though.

The light, lime green Alien O.G. buds were nice big buds that were well coated in crystals. It was smooth and easy on the throat. There was a bit of aftertaste that lingered, but not enough to really get excited. It was almost like it wanted to give that flavor to me, but at the end of the day was too shy to come out and say “flavor”. Instead the taste comes out like too much midlevel herb; shwaggy and leafy.

This is an indica strong hybrid; it is a cross between Tahoe OG and Alien Kush. It really attached itself to the head and shoulders. It is also quite a spaced- out high. A day staring at the TV could come with a few puffs of this herb.

 

The Fantastic Fox Street Wellness

Posted on by danielk1

5/25/14

Fox Street Wellness

4773 Fox Street
Denver, CO 80216

Banana Kush

$55 per ⅛ (rec)
A++++ Ind.

Fox Street Wellness is one of the first places that I went to when I moved to Denver. I was thrilled to see the jars filled with monstrous buds that looked either delicate or radioactive or both. They grow their herbs organically in peat moss, and it is clear that they really take care of it.

I settled on a 50/50 split of Banana Kush and Durban Sweet Haze (next review). The Banana Kush was a light, lime green color and is covered in tri-chromes.

This bud has a nice, light and delicate flavor. It is also a very easy smoke. It is almost so light that I could not tell that I was even smoking it. The high was a nice body high. It was one of those highs that I can feel in the back of my eyes.

I was drawn to the Banana Kush by its light, sweet aroma. The signs were right too, because this was a quality high in flavor and aroma. The smoke was smooth and very nice. In fact, this Banana Kush was like a kush on vacation. It had nary a care in the world.

Durban Sweet Haze

A++++ Sat.

The Durban Sweet Haze was the second half of my Fox Street purchase. It also contrasted the banana Kush in a few ways. The Banana Kush was an indica, while Durban Sweet Haze was a sativa. The Banana Kush was light green, and the Durban Sweet Haze was a dark green. The Banana Kush buds appeared to have more trichromes on them than the Durban Sweet Haze. The BK smelled good, but the DP really gave off a much more dank scent. The Banana Kush had big buds in it, while the Durban Sweet Haze buds were smaller.

I was a bit confused by the last contrast, because Durban buds are often nice, healthy avocado sized buds. The Durban flowers were still chunky and covered in red hairs and the white fuzz, but their size leaned toward medium-small.

At any rate, Fox Street showed me enough quality everywhere else that I could see this as less of an indictment of quality and more the result of something innocent. My guess was that it was the bottom of the bag.

This DP is another smooth smoke that has a pleasant aftertaste. It reminded me of a flavor that I remember getting in my hometown, Danktown, almost 20 years ago. It was called Citrus Durban, and it was good. But I digress….

This sativa came on strong. It had all the makings of top shelf Dank! I felt this one in my eyes as well. It is much stonier than the BK. It is much more sedative, and best to smoke after work or when you are amidst a great scene of natural beauty.

Bomdizzle Denverizzle

Posted on by danielk1

This blog is all about bud. Now that ganja is legal here in the State of Colorado, shops have proliferated and grown throughout these Rocky Mountains. That means a lot of options for a guy like me. I have been involved in cannabis for 20 years ago now. I turned down my first ounce in high school and my first pound in college. My first contact with G-13 was in 1995, and it wasn’t much later that I smoked my first AK-47 from Boulder. This was when I officially got hooked on the herbs, and set off on the endless journey for the best bag of ganja around.

Surprisingly enough, I was blessed to have an amazing abundance of these herbs in the heartland city that taught me many life lessons as I grew up. I was blessed to be surrounded by growers. If the growers were out, then there were ample roads to Colorado for their mountain-grown flavors. In fact, there was also way too much pretendica, or B.C. buds around. Make no mistake, ganja was everywhere in the 90’s.

The conservative culture of the communities in and around Danktown (Omaha) did not like my defiance of their drunk-driving status quo. Not at all. Mocha skin and dreadlocks was all the evidence that they needed to attempt to ruin me. In fact, they may have succeeded if I had not moved to California. If Nebraska really wants to punish potheads, then they should stiffen the penalties. No one there can take those laws seriously as it is. They are more scared of the mark on their resumes than the civil citation.

But, alas! Although I do tend to wear my heart on my sleeve, this is not the place for my political rants; it is a place for me to watch this newborn market handle the shift into mainstream, corporate (yikes) America. Businesses are stockpiling locations and shuffling industrial grow-spaces around in order to keep up with the relentless demand. Young and old people are moving here from Central and Eastern Time Zones like honeybees would flock to the sweetest flowers in the field. Some of them have degrees and skills that the industry needs like botanists, systems engineers, and lawyers. Others just want to be a part of the cannabis industry. And others are cannabis refugees like me.

This blog is my little assessment of how things are moving and changing here. I have developed questions for the budtenders to give me more accurate answers to the herbs they are selling. Back in the day, if you wanted my business, you gave me a sample. Today (for the most part), I have to buy these samples. I don’t mind getting crap if it is free; I can always give it away. It is completely different story when I have to pay for it, however. This is my record book.

 

Daniel Knowtorious